


Alternative Version of I Believe - Round 1

by TapBluesNLindyhopDancer



Series: Rehearsals of Spring Verse [2]
Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater, Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Broadway, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Musicals, Out of Character, Out of Character Dean Winchester, Out of Character Ellen Harvelle, Panic Attacks, and there's no actual penetrative sex, but the students playing those characters are over the age of 18, characters in musical are teenagers, could be considered dub-con or non-con, for the fake sex scene, however college-age students are cast as those characters, it depends on your own interpretation, oh and I guess there's technically voyeurism and exhibitionism, the most awkward anal sex scene rehearsal, they have fake sex that looks like real sex on stage, underage sex happens in the musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-02 17:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17268242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TapBluesNLindyhopDancer/pseuds/TapBluesNLindyhopDancer
Summary: This is an alternative version of the most awkward sex scene rehearsal to ever sex scene, from the Rehearsals of Spring story.





	Alternative Version of I Believe - Round 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first version of how I wrote the scene. It felt a little too uncomfortable to read, and slightly out of character for both Dean and Ellen – you’d think Dean and/or Ellen would stop the scene, and they don’t in this version - so I chose to write a different version for the main story. Fair warning, this draws a hazy line between consent vs dubious or non consent. More details in the after notes in case you need it before deciding to read (plus I don’t want to spoil too much for the rest of the readers). But I felt the need to post this, especially with the somewhat recent “me too” movement. This one will really make you think. And it may be upsetting to read, as I know I felt disappointed in both Dean and Ellen while writing and editing it (I'm actually a little nervous in posting this). Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Cas is one of those people who always arrives early to gatherings and meetings. He settles in a seat amongst the ocean of royal-purple chairs, several minutes before Ellen and Dean. He has nothing but his own thoughts to keep himself preoccupied while he waits. He has prepared and read the scene several times already. The scene itself makes him nervous; He’s not comfortable in his own skin. His growth spurt has slowed at least, now that he’s finished the awkward stage of puberty. But that’s left him feeling as though he’s occupying a vessel that’s not his own. How can he bare himself with confidence on stage when he can’t even look at his own body in the mirror without ridiculing himself!

His fingernails absentmindedly scrape against rough denim-clad thighs. Gosh, that’s one thing he hates; his thighs are too thick for an omega. They make any pair of pants stretch, nearly bursting at the seams. At least his calves are a normal size, and the remaining fabric tapers down straight past his knees. Another thing – his arms are indubitably muscular; it’s another part of his body that doesn’t fit a typical omega. Most t-shirts in the omega section of clothing stores are too small for his arms, causing the fabric to overtly stretch across his biceps. It never looks right on his body. He can only find t-shirts that fit loose enough in the alpha section. He hates certain parts of his body so much. And he’ll have to display it all on stage…

Cas is so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn’t notice when Dean sits down beside him. Both boys remain silent until Ellen walks through the door. Cas’s thoughts are disrupted by Ellen’s first words.

“Hey boys. How are you both?” Ellen asks.

“Fine,” Cas lies.

“Just peachy,” says Dean.

“Great! Before we begin the scene, I wanted us to discuss the details and make sure you are both comfortable with all that goes on. First, Cas: you will be touched and caressed in a sexual manner in front of a live audience. You will also have to bare your butt and hole to everyone. Your shirt will be unbuttoned and chest bared as well. Are you comfortable doing this?”

Ellen seems genuine in her concerns, which gives Cas the courage to reveal the truth. “To be honest, I am nervous about revealing myself on stage. I’m not exactly confident in my body.”

“Is that something you’d be willing to work on over the next several weeks, or do we need to modify the scene so that you’re comfortable?” she asks.

Cas shakes his head. “No, no. I’m willing to try. And actually, it’s a personal thing that I’ve always wanted to work through. At least if you both are gracious enough to offer patience through my struggles.”

“Oh honey,” Ellen says. “Of course, we’ll support you. There’s plenty of time to practice the scene before the actual performance. I’m so glad you’re willing to do this!

“Now, Dean: Are you comfortable performing the scene as written? You’ll have to touch Cas in a sexual manner in front of a live audience. You, too, will have to pull down your knickers and bare your bottom. You both will essentially pretend to fuck on stage. Although you won’t actually knot Cas, you’ll have to thrust into him to make it look like ya are. Are you comfortable with this, Dean?”

Dean scratches the back of his head. “Yeah, I’m okay with it. Though like Cas, I’m nervous about it. Not with revealing my body, but the whole act. It’s like I’m the big bad alpha raping an innocent omega on stage.”

“We can work with that. And let me explain how I interpret the scene –“

“Wait, can I explain?” Cas interrupts her. The words are out of his mouth before he realizes. There is something about the alpha, maybe in the way he seems so shy, making himself vulnerable, that makes Cas want to speak out. “It’ll mean more coming from me.” Ellen gives her nod of approval and Cas proceeds. “The way I interpret the scene, Melchior isn’t necessarily raping Georg. Yes, he doesn’t fully understand the concept of knotting. He doesn’t know that as a consequence of sex, he’ll later become pregnant with an unwanted child. However, even though he does say no, he eventually does say yes; after persuasion, he tells Melchior it’s okay for him to continue. Georg is an omega with a desire to feel closer to the alpha whom he has a crush on. And knotting makes him feel closer. In other words, consider it as an omega giving his consent to an alpha’s knot without understanding what that entails. Does that make sense, Dean?”

“Yeah… it might take some time for my head to wrap around that concept, but it does make me feel better.”

Ellen smiles. “Good. You both ready to practice it now? We’ll run through the latter half of the scene since that’ll be the most nerve-wracking part. We can practice the other half at a later date. This time around, just block the motions and speak the dialogue; we won’t introduce music quite yet.”

“I’m ready. Cas, are you ready?”

“Yes.” His voice is a little shaky.

“Alright then,” Ellen says. “Here’s what’s gonna happen. We’ll start with you two kissing. Dean, you’ll push Cas down during the kiss, so he’ll lie flat and you’ll be on top of him. You’ll do your dialogue. There’s a point where Melchior ruts up against Georg. Cas, you’ll speak out in protest before taking hold of Dean’s hand and placing it upon your chest in a gesture of consent. Dean, you’ll unbutton Cas’s shirt and pull down his pants. Then you’ll push Cas’s legs up towards his chest and slip your hand up his boxers. Cas will then push up in protest. Then he’ll give consent to continue on after a bit of reassurance.  Approaching the end, you’ll kiss some more and Dean will pull at Cas’s boxers enough to reveal his butt hole. I don’t want to see any dicks out in the open on stage. Dean, you’ll pretend to finger Cas, then pull down your own pants, undies pulled down far enough to show your bum. Finally, Dean will give one large thrust in, and Cas, I want you to audibly gasp at the end. Now, both of you, up on stage. Sit down. Breathe. And proceed when you’re both comfortable. I’ll just wait here, then, and watch.”

Thank goodness Cas took his blockers this morning. Ellen’s explanation would have him leaking slick otherwise. Now _that_ would make an embarrassing first practice. Luckily Cas is not wet at all as they both make their way up stage.

Cas sits cross legged on the floor.

“Uh, Cas?” Dean asks.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe… to make things easier… uh, you should take off your jacket? Your sneakers, too.”

“Oh, yes. Of course.” Cas scrambles to remove his jacket and shoes. He pushes both to the side, out of the way. He might be a little flustered.

And oh yeah. He has to take off the rest of his clothing during the scene. How can he _do_ this? Does he _want_ to do this? No, he can’t. It’s too much. He can’t. He _can’t._

His chest tightens and his breath quickens. Then there’s a weight on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Dean says. Cas stops breathing and tenses. He stares into eyes the color of green emeralds. They seem… _caring_.

“Breathe,” he commands. And Cas can’t help but fall into natural instinct, taking a deep inhale. Then he exhales out.

“That’s good,” Dean encourages. “You ready to start?”

Is he? Is he ready? Not really, no. He looks into those green eyes again. For some reason, Cas wants to trust this alpha. Maybe it’s his biological omega instinct that causes the next words to leap out of his mouth without hesitation.

“Yes, I’m ready.”

Dean drops his hand into his own lap. “Okay,” he says.

His hands cup both sides of Cas’s face and Dean draws in closer, their noses barely an inch apart.

Dean stares into Cas’s eyes, seeming to wait for a sign to stop. Cas gives him no such indication. Then lips clash together. Cas’s heart thumps out of his chest and he can’t seem to take a deep enough inhale as a hand scrunches into hairs in the back of Cas’s head while the other loops across his shoulders. Cas wraps his hands around Dean’s broad shoulders. He can feel the toned muscles beneath his hands. Cas is enraptured in sensations as he discovers something hard pressing against his back. All the while, his lips remain locked with the alpha’s.

It takes several moments until Cas registers that he’s lying against the floor. Dean’s lips are gone, and Cas merely stares up at that swollen, pink mouth. A hand brushes against Cas’s cheek, leaving it tingling.

“Don’t be scared,” he says, breath heaving. And Cas is reminded of the scene they’re supposedly acting out.

His thoughts vanish as lips crash into his, yet again. Dean’s fingers tangle in his hair, then sweep down his chest to rest against his breast bone.

The hand stays there, mouths remain pressed against each other. So focused on those lips and that warm hand, a pinch takes Cas out of his head space; he belatedly remembers his dialogue.

“Mmph! No!” Cas shouts against those precious lips.

“Please,” comes Dean’s plea.

“Don’t.” Cas reluctantly pushes Dean’s hand away. He backs off.

“It’s –“

“What?” Dean asks, laser focused on what Cas – no, Georg – has to say.

Cas stares back, and then his gaze shifts to Dean’s hand. He grabs hold of that hand, roughened with callouses, yet still warm to the touch. Dean’s eyes shift as well, and follow as he raises that hand back up to his chest. Cas tenderly holds that hand against his fast beating heart with both his own hands.

When he lets go, that bit of warmth vanishes. It’s replaced by coldness as his shirt is unbuttoned with quick and nimble fingers while Cas stares up at the ceiling, letting it happen. Cool air blows across his chest – Cas didn’t wear an undershirt or t-shirt like he normally does, knowing they’d likely be practicing this scene. At the brush of fingertips against his biceps, Cas remembers the horridness of that portion of his body. And Dean can _see_ it. He just _touched_ it.

A shiver wracks his body as warm fingers gently glide up his cold torso. Cas eyes those fingers, sees his own chest exposed, and then reaches out to grab Dean’s wrist. This isn’t part of the scene. Dean stops and waits for Cas to say something, his eyebrows raised in question.

“I’m ticklish,” is all he admits as an explanation.

“Okay. I won’t do that, then,” Dean promises. Those soothing words allow Cas’s heart beat to slow a little bit. His own potent scent of ozone mixed with burnt straw – the smell of fear – dwindles down.

The fingers come back, but they don’t tease. Instead, they rub circles into the cold flesh above his hip bones. It feels _good,_ and calming. Almost like a massage.

Then those soft lips are back against his own. Neither part their mouths out of courtesy for each other (though Cas desperately wants to). Cas manages to feel safe in the moment. And Dean’s scent of pine mixed with cinnamon and a hint of motor oil is absolutely heavenly. It only makes Cas feel more at home.

The spell is broken as those endearing lips skate down his chest and torso, Dean – no, no, _Melchior_ – fingering at the button of Cas’s jeans.

“Wait!” Cas yells. And it’s not just Georg who’s nervous and hesitant about the intent behind Melchior’s actions.

Another hand rests against Cas’s knee. It grounds him.

“It’s just me,” Dean simply says. And he stares at Cas as if he can see his soul, waiting for Cas to make the next move.

“It’s just me,” he repeats, somewhat breathless. Those words seem not only intended for Georg, but Cas as well.

Moments tick by, most likely only seconds, but it feels like hours before Cas is able to recollect himself. He trustingly leans back, allowing Dean to yank his pants off completely.

That one same warm hand slips up his boxers, fingers cupping his butt cheeks.

“Now there –” Cas gasps. He squeaks as those fingers insistently rub against his cheeks, like they’re trying to soothe.

Cas grasps onto Deans shoulder as he falls back against the floor, letting out another moan.

Dean bends Cas in half, his knees folding up towards his chest. The elastic waistband of his boxer briefs nudge into Cas’s lower back as Dean tugs at them.

“I’m gonna need you to lift your hips,” Dean whispers. That’s also not supposed to be in the scene.

Well, Cas does as he’s told lifting his hips off the floor, so that Dean can pull down his boxers. Being a gentlemanly alpha, Dean pulls Cas’s boxers down only as far as they need to go for the scene. He feels the cold rush of air against his exposed hole. Thank Heaven it’s not slick.

Then a warm hand presses against his thigh, and Cas is reminded yet again that his body is on display – a portion of his body that he hates. But he can’t stop it now. They’re already so far into the scene, Cas doesn’t want to wreck it. So he lets it continue.

He can’t shake away that feeling of being exposed, though. And soon there’s a hand on his butt, and a finger rests along the cleft between his ass cheeks. That finger puts the slightest pressure against his hole, and that’s when the tremors start.

“Now that’s –” Cas arches his back off the floor. The words escape from his mouth as if from muscle memory, like they’re being pulled from his subconscious mind. In the meantime, he can’t stop trembling.

“Yes?” Dean asks. And that finger increases pressure just the tiniest bit, though it still does not penetrate. Cas tries to ignore the shaking of his own body. He tries to allow himself to enjoy the sensation of Dean’s calloused fingers pressed against his hole.

Yet, the shaking continues.

And the scene moves forward.

“Huh!” Cas gasps out. Even through the tremors, he yells a shaky, “Yes!”

And Dean tumbles forward, kiss swollen lips clashing into Cas’s. He leaves a soft trail of kisses down his bared chest, then rises up. Cas watches as Dean unbuttons his own pants, slides them down along with his boxers. And then he’s back against his mouth. Cas vibrates uncontrollably at the caress of fingertips on his thighs – his godawful thighs. And then Dean thrusts forward with his hips. It all happens so fast! Cas can feel the outlines of Dean’s knot against his hole, and he feels as though he’s suffocating between moments of pleasure and moments of unwanted vulnerability.

“Huh!” Cas gasps out loud at the end, his head turned away from Dean, away from the audience, wanting to make this whole situation disappear.

At least the scene is over. Wait! It’s finally over! Cas watches Dean rise, tuck his shirt in, and pull his pants back up.

Then Cas rests his head on the ground, shaking uncontrollably, taking in a lungful of breath on each inhale. That was terrifying! How will he do this without panicking when they have a real audience?

A warm hand touches his knee again.

“Cas?” a wrecked voice asks. “Are you okay?”

“Please, stop touching me,” Cas manages to plead in between breaths of air.

The hand disappears. “Is there anything I can do to help you?” that same calm, honey-soaked voice asks.

All Cas wishes to do at this moment is hide, curl into a ball, let the ground suck him up, and never see the light of day or another alpha again. But he’s here. And this situation is unavoidable. He needs some sort of cover. Something that will hide the portion of his body that brings him shame…

“Jacket… could you grab… my jacket… please?” he says.

Mere seconds later, he hears a _thunk_ and the cool, smooth touch of leather against his bare skin.

“Thank you,” Cas says.

He wills his muscles to move despite his heavy breathing. He’s barely able to lift his torso high enough to grab his jacket and drape it across his lower body. As soon as he accomplishes the feat, he collapses on the ground and sighs in relief; now that his extremities and thighs are no longer exposed, he feels a million times better.

Cas lies on the floor, focusing on his breath, no longer letting his mind worry about anyone else in the room. No longer worrying about his body being revealed to the alphas in the room. He tries to extend his inhales and exhales until he feels as though his heart is no longer racing. Until the lingering, crawling sensation across the skin of his body goes away. Finally, he’s capable of sitting up. Cas manages to put himself back together. He pulls his boxers and pants back in place while under the cover of his jacket. He gathers his shoes from where he stashed them prior to the scene. Feeling more comfortable with a security blanket, he lets his jacket rest over his thighs, hiding the ugly lower half of his body, providing him with a warm comfort. It’s when he’s tying his last shoe that he catches Ellen’s presence on the stage.

He almost forgot she was here. And when the heck did she come up on stage?

“Well, boys,” she says, with her arms across her chest. “That was… worse than I expected.” Without further preamble, she crouches down, sitting next to Dean and Cas so they form a small triangle. The conversation feels less formal this way.

Ellen scoots even closer to lessen the gap between them. “We just have to find a way to improve it over the next several weeks so that you both can perform it comfortably. Before we continue, I have to ask: Cas, are you still okay with performing the scene?”

“I dunno,” he replies honestly. His eyes are downcast, not yet ready to look either Ellen or Dean in the eye.

“That’s okay. You and Dean can practice some more alone without me, in private. If you’re still hesitant about it after a week or two, we can make a few modifications so that you’re both comfortable on stage.”

“Thanks, Ellen,” says Cas.

“You’re very welcome, sweetie. And to help you both, while the scene is still fresh, and only if you’re comfortable telling us now, could you explain what was going on in your head during the scene, Cas?”

“During which part?”

 “How about the moment when Dean unbuttoned your shirt?”

“Okay,” he takes a moment to shift his legs, gather his thoughts, and think of how to explain that moment. “Dean touched… my arm.”

“I touched your bicep, sweet heart,” says Dean.

Cas shudders at those words. His fearful musty scent most likely leaked out without his control.

“Dean, please don’t interrupt. Your comments are unneeded. This conversation is difficult enough without your endearing words,” says Ellen. Her calming scent of a warm, sunny summer day fills Cas’s nostrils.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “Please, continue.”

Cas speaks, “I’m not fond of my… biceps as you call them. They’re too big for an omega. I hate how they might be perceived. And when you touched them, I was reminded that the audience will view them. They’ll judge me for my overly muscular arms. I just know it.”

“Aw, honey. You need to find peace with your body. Dean can help you with that. You’ll help him, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good man. And I suspect that you hate your thighs, too. You started shaking after Dean brought his hand to rest against your thigh. Am I right?”

Wow! Ellen must be a mind reader. “Yes.”

“Okay. I have a little activity I want you both to practice. I want both of you to strip to your boxers and look at yourselves in the mirror while standing next to each other. Then you will each take turns saying something positive about an aspect of your own body as you look in the mirror. It may seem awkward at first, but it will help you both learn to love your own body. And you can do it together.

“Also, practice the scene several times in only your boxers. Get used to seeing each other with minimal clothes on. And touch without the barrier of clothing. This will not only help you get used to each other, but it will help with learning to expose your body to someone else. 

“I expect you’ll do your homework. And I expect to see some improvements by our next rehearsal of the scene. Sound like something you both can do?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Dean says.

“Yeah,” Cas says.

“Excellent! Now go. You both deserve a break before we rehearse the next scene.” Ellen gives them both a warm smile.

Cas stands and Dean follows behind him as he walks towards the exit doors. Dean being the kind, gentlemanly alpha that he is, of course holds the door open for Cas. He has the intention to talk with Dean and set up a few practice sessions. He’ll have to get used to those eyes. And those hands. And those lips.

**Author's Note:**

> In this case, both Dean and Cas verbally agree to the scene beforehand. However, Cas’s body language indicates that he’s uncomfortable, but he doesn’t verbally state that he wants the scene to stop, nor do Dean or Ellen stop the scene. Surprisingly, a large portion of both versions are the same. There are just a few minor differences in both versions, yet they leave the reader feeling completely different – which is why I’ve decided to post this chapter here. It makes you question the definition of consent and what it requires for both parties in the relationship. Please, please leave a comment (or kudos at the very least) – I’m super curious as to how y’all interpret this scene in both versions.


End file.
